Golden Storm
by Tashishka
Summary: Provisional Title, likely to change.Hints of JakeRose, eventual RoseTen, but with several added twists. Full summary inside
1. Summary

**Summary**

Yet another Doctor Who fic. I've been working on this for a while as I've kind of got a case of severe writers block on my other fic "Regeneration of the Past."

"Regeneration of the Past" was started before I saw the episode Doomsday and knew exactly what happened to Rose. This one however takes said episode into account.

Okay, to the story, or at least the vague outline...

The Doctor misses Rose, severely. He's not eating, sleeping or travelling. He is trapped in stasis in a sense. He no longer knows what to do with himself. Little does he know that he is now part of a series of events herealding times of trouble and yet greatness. The Oncoming Storm is building...

Rose misses the Doctor, big surprise there. She's having nightmares, pictures of events unfolding around her, thing that she is powerless to stop. Even in this time of darkness and confusion, she is still able to find hope. Love. Then its all turned upside down...

Jack Harkness returns to the TARDIS (I know this wont go down too well with some. Don't particularly like him much myself, but I think he's a good character to have.) He's there to hold the Doctor together when the whole place tumbles down. Little does he realise his own part in the crumbling of the Worlds...

Its a bit more complex that this and stuff but I bet you can guess how this ends up, at least for a while; Rose and the Doctor are reunited! (Yay!) But I hasten to add, it will not last...(cruel I know)

This Fic will probs be updated more often than my other, at least until I am struck by another case of writers block.


	2. Alone

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Doctor Who in any way shape or form**

**One**

He tiredly raised his hand to his eyes and tried to brush away the sleep that was threatening to overtake him. His ruffled brown hair fell into his eyes in its trademark straggly, floppy wave. The TARDIS hummed quietly as she maintained their orbit around the Doctors' chosen resting place. It was so quiet now, now that he was alone once more. Now that Rose was gone. Not just for a few minutes or hours or days or months or even years, but forever.

He couldn't keep doing this. Couldn't keep spending night after night in the TARDIS control room, forcing himself to stay awake, no matter what. He couldn't bring himself to look in her room, or even to walk past it. He felt like he was a prisoner, a prisoner within the confines of his mind. A prisoner of Rose Tyler.

Reinettes 'Lonely Angel', lonely was right, he was so many things to so many people, he gave them hope, helped them survive. So why was it that he had to lose the one thing that gave _him_ hope and helped _him_ survive? Why did he have to lose Rose?

_"The appeal of being alone is not the absence of others, its the presence of me. My mind flits all the time and I think that irritates people around me, but it doesn't irritate me. It makes me very happy. When I'm with other people I can't find me. I become the spectre at the feast, but I'm not me." _The words of a 20th Century comedian. Maybe they were right, offered him some comfort, but to the Doctor they were empty, hollow, lies. The appeal of being alone was not the presence of himself. He was a Time Lord, therefore he was always aware of himself, acutely aware of the whole of time and space, every single particle of every single thing both animate and inanimate. Everything except her.

He held his head in his hands, groaning slightly. He missed her so much, every day, every hour, every minute, every second, without fail she was in his thoughts. He pulled himself to his feet in several halting, clumsy movements. He had never been the most graceful of people, but lately, he had become even more ungainly and clumsy than even the most uncoordinated of humans and that was saying something. Even Rose would have handled herself better and that was saying something. He grinned slightly, she'd hate him for that.

He found himself wandering the corridors of the TARDIS, his mind full of everything and nothing. He found himself outside her door and before he realised what he was doing, he had reached out and opened it. He closed his eyes, his breath catching in his chest. Her scent washed over him in waves; something sweet, almost floral, mingled with something else, something he couldn't quite identify. He found it strangely comforting, almost like a link to her. She'd left part of herself there with him, in that room. For him.

"Rose." he murmured, lifting his leaden feet one by one and dragging them over the threshold. He'd never come in here whilst she was alive...wait, that wasn't right, she was still alive, in some parallel universe. Unreachable. Why did he feel like this? She was human, just like Sarah Jane and some of his other companions, yet he had never felt anything close to what he felt now for Rose, not for them. He remembered their time on Sanctuary Base, his time with Ida Scott. He had thought he was going to die. Not just regenerate, but die, cease to exist,

scatter into the air and become part of the time and space that he had been so aware of. He'd

never been more aware of his own mortality. He'd told her to tell Rose that...well actually he hadn't, he'd gotten scared at the last minute and had merely muttered that she knew, and besides, what he had wanted to say wasn't something that should be heard second hand, it was something he needed to tell her for himself. Yet he never had. He had never told her that he loved her. And now it was too late. She would never know.

"She already knew." came a voice in his head. The TARDIS was reaching out to him, trying to comfort her most loyal master. "She didn't need to hear the words to know."

Sudden madness seized him, or so it would seem to anyone that didn't know. "Rose Tyler!" he bellowed as loud and as hard as he could. "I LOVE YOU!" There, he'd said it. Just like he had that day in Norway. Only then, like now, she couldn't hear him. He'd never be able to offer her comfort with his vocal eloquence, never be able to hold her hand again and spend many a quiet moment with her, to revel in her child-like joy at each new world they saw.

Tears slipped down his cheeks, leaving salty trails in their wake. As they ran down his chin and onto his neck he risked a glance around him. The walls were of the same coppery coloured metal that ran throughout the TARDIS, in fact it was no different in basic appearance to the Doctors' own room. Whereas he revelled in order, everything in its place, Rose had an altogether different approach. The bed was rumpled, unmade, papers were strewn around the room. Beside the bed, there was a small leather bound book, stuffed full with yet more papers.

He reached out and took the blanket in his hands, allowing his fingers to intertwine in it. He caught her scent once more. Unable to resist, he sank down on her bed. He could still see the outline of her body in the bed. As he said a footprint looks nothing like a boot, he could see where she had lain, but had no indication from this alone what she looked like. He now had only his memories.

Overwhelmed by the sleep that he had thus far successfully kept at bay, he curled up on the mattress, allowing her scent to flow around him. His eye lids felt heavy and try as he might he could not keep them open. His eyelashes tickled his cheeks as he settled down upon her bed. He would never have dared do this before, but now he was so tired that he didn't care, couldn't care.

There he lay, in the silence that now stretched throughout the TARDIS. He was still lying there when the alarm sounded.


	3. Sharing

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Doctor Who in any way.**

**Two**

Captain Jack Harkness smiled slightly as he stood within the glittering copper control room of the TARDIS once more. He still remembered that day back on the Game station, the day they left him behind. He'd thought his heart was going to break...mind you he also could have sworn that he was dead meat when those Daleks cornered him...not so. He knew now that that was Rose. Rose was the one that had saved him. He didn't know how, or why but she had, and now, finally , he could thank her and the Doctor for all they had done that day, and hopefully he could lend a hand..

He stood, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet, hands buried deep in his pockets. This wasn't like the Doctor, Jack had been stood here for at least five minutes, the alarm blaring all the while. Last time this had happened, the Doctor had bounded in here, all smiles and heaps of energy, spoiling for a fight. He hadn't got one then either. Rose had been hot on his heels, all wide eyed and tousle haired. Beautiful then. Probably still just as beautiful.

Growing tired of waiting, Jack took off down one of the many corridors of the TARDIS. The one that lead to Roses' room. "Rose?" he called to the darkness. "Rose are you here? Doctor?" Something wasn't right, it was too quiet. It wasn't the ordinary silence, it was heavy. Almost repressive. "Doctor are you here?" he heard a voice, somewhere on the corridor. It was a mans voice, too far away to be intelligible, but close enough to worry him, to capture his interest and Captain Jack Harkness was never one to shirk a challenge.

He crept down the corridor, exercising all of his stealth and concelement skills, which, lets be honest, weren't all that fantastic. The voice grew louder, clearer as he neared the end of the walk, as he neared Rose' room. Filled with dread he dropped the whole concealment and stealth act and pulled her door open. He expected to find some weird and wonderful alien creature threatening the petite blonde. Instead he was confronted with the Doctor, sound asleep on her bed. Well, he said sound, yet he was far from it.

The Doctor was sprawled there, spread-eagled, like he was being crucified. He was calling out, random words with no apparent common ground, some Jack recognised, others were quite obviously alien. What did that mean? The TARDIS translated alien speech automatically so he shouldn't be hearing them like he was...that could only mean one thing...something was very wrong with the Doctor. Speaking of the Doctor...if Jack didn't know any better he would have doubted that the man before him was said being. He looked so different...yet he felt the same, his presence was no different, Jack knew without question that this was truly his friend and ally.

He reached out to him, hoping to rouse him from his slumber, only to stop himself inches from his friends shoulder. Waking someone when they were sleep walking wasn't the safest thing to do, could cause all sorts of damage, or so they said. Did the same apply to those that were dreaming, rather violently and vocally. Jack raised his eyebrows as the Doctor lashed out. Whatever unlucky spectre was haunting his friends' dreams, it had Jacks' pity. It was then he heard her name.

"Rose...I'm sorry!"

That piqued Jacks' interest further. Why was the Doctor apologising? That was something he never did, not ever. Not even to Rose. Not if he could help it.

"Rose! Come back to me please!" The Doctor squirmed again. "Why did I let it happen! Rose, I..." Unable to restrain himself any longer, Jack reached out and shook the tousle-haired brunet.

"Doc...Doctor, wake up."

He suddenly sat up, almost sending Jack toppling onto the floor, only the later caught himself on the nearby shelf.

"Morning." Jack regained his feet with a smile. "Sorry 'bout the noise but I forgot the code." he quirked a smile, glancing at the Doctor. In the muted light from a single bulb he could see silvery trails on the Doctors cheeks. Distinct tear stains...things were getting weirder and weirder. The Doctor made no acknowledgement of Jack, staring straight ahead, at something beyond the shining wall. "Sorry about barging in like this, but I was in the area and thought I would drop in, visit my favourite Doctor and blonde." he looked round the room. "and where is Miss Tyler? Safe to assume not with you...though I don't know, you could have her hidden under those covers, you sly dog..."

"She's gone Jack. She's dead. I killed her." The Doctor was suddenly on his feet and almost out the door.

It took a few seconds for his words to have their full effect. "Whoa Doc', slow down. What do you mean you killed her? I don't, I can't believe that you...I mean...you're _The Doctor_." he finished rather lamely, trailing behind the Doctor.

"Shows how little you know Jack. Just shows you." he found himself in the control room once more, his ears assaulted by the TARDIS 'intruder alert.' He stomped around, slamming his hands down on this control and that, flitting from console to console only pausing briefly. His movements reminded Jack of a moth round a flame, drawing closer and closer to it, putting itself in more and more danger of being burned. Finally the alarm was silenced, but the Doctor continued slamming around the room, avoiding Jack like the plague.

"Doctor," Jack approached him carefully. The man before him was a completely unknown quantity, and he wasn't sure how to handle the situation. So he decided to handle it in that famous Jack Harkness manner- feet-first with all the tact of a brick through a window. "What the hell are you talking about? You wouldn't...in fact...I don't think you _could _kill Rose, not even if the world depended on it. So what are you talking about?"

"She's dead Jack, back on Earth. Rose Tyler is no more." he sighed heavily. "and it's all my fault. I should have tried harder, sent her back to Pete again so she didn't have to...so I didn't...I should have made sure that..."

"There seems to be a heck of a lot of unknowns and 'what ifs' there Doc'. They don't normally have much of a standing with you really. Doc', what happened?"

Hesitating slightly, the Doctor buried his hands deep in his pockets, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. A gesture that Jack recognised as that of a man cornered, about to impart some great secret. "They took her from me, the Cybermen. They came through the Void, following the...following the Daleks." Jack felt his jaw drop. "They broke through somehow and the Cybermen came through behind them. It was all out war on Earth, between the Daleks, Cybermen and Us. I had to close the breach. I sent Rose away, but she came back, she wouldn't leave. Anyway, to cut a long story short... I thought we'd won, thought she was staying with me...but then she fell...she would have ended up trapped in the Void if it hadn't been for Pete Tyler coming back through and catching her. Now though, she's in one world and I'm in the other. We'll never meet again." he looked directly at Jack, who couldn't help but recoil slightly. His dark brown, chocolately eyes were clouded, and damp with tears that were threatening to fall once more.

There was such a mix of emotions there, some that Jack didn't even think the Doctor could feel, after all, he was new to the whole emotions thing. It had only been in his last regeneration or two that he'd started getting a hold on them. His eyes seemed to herald the 'Oncoming Storm' of Dalek legend. It seemed to Jack that he was only just holding himself together.

"And I'm scared Jack...I loved her so much." Jack couldn't help but smile slightly. It was about time he admitted that to himself. Jack had known for a long time and the Game station only served to strengthen his convictions. "I don't want to be alone...she served to remind me of what I have lost...and helped me get past it...she made me whole again; and I'm scared that now she's gone, that she's left like everyone has in the end, I'm scared that I will never feel that again. I'm scared that I'm always going to be alone." he shook his head slightly. "Listen to me, a Time Lord, afraid of being alone, when I have all of Time and Space to fear." he shook his head slightly. "Anyway...why are you here?"

"I've already told you...was in the area so thought I'd drop by." the Doctor didn't even question it, didn't have a flippant remark or observation. He was so out of sorts. He just tinkered with his beloved TARDIS, ignoring everything and everyone around him. Jack merely shrugged. That was the Doctor all over really. He pushed everyone away so they wouldn't be hurt by him, or hurt him. It was a defence. But like Reinette said, the Doctor was worth the monsters, he was worth it all.

Jack glanced at the sad, lonely, hunched figure by the console. He was half the man he once knew. He wished he could help him, but he couldn't...or could he? Tearing his eyes from the tortured soul before him, Jack headed off on an exploration of the TARDIS.


	4. Understanding

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Doctor Who**

**Three**

Jackie sat by her daughters' bed, moonlight falling on her face. Every night without fail since he left for good, either herself or Pete sat with Rose as she slept, stroking her hair. Offering her comfort in the only way they knew how. She hadn't been the same since he'd left. Or rather since she'd left him. She hadn't been eating properly, and sleep...well she was still haunted by something, having nightmares. Not for the first time Jackie found herself cursing the Doctors character, even though he wasn't the one responsible.

In her sleep Rose tossed and turned, murmuring intelligibly. Ever since Norway, she'd been worse than ever. Jackie was incredibly concerned for her daughter. What if she was never alright again? It was like she'd lost part of herself that day, like she'd come with Jackie in body but left her soul with _him._

A gentle knock at the door drew her attention away from her blonde haired child. As she turned, a tall, fair haired young man slipped into the room. He smiled weakly at her, his gaze drawn to Rose. "How is she?" he asked, taking a seat at her side.

"I don't know." Jackie shook her head. "Where's Mickey?"

"Torchwood." Jake responded simply. "Dunno when he'll be able to get over here next." he looked at Jackie. "Look, don't take this the wrong way Jackie, but you look exhausted. Go and get some sleep, I'll stay with her."

"No, I'll stay."

"Jackie," Jake whispered, as Rose began to toss and turn even more violently. "She needs you to be there for her, fully functioning, not half cocked, suffering from over exhaustion."

Jackie rounded on him furiously, but before she could retaliate Rose called out. "Jake!" They both looked down at her in surprise.

"Why is she calling for _you!_"

"I...I...I don't know..." Jake moved forward and perched on the edge of her bed. "Rose, I'm here." he placed a hand on her arm. "What is it?"

"Look after Mickey for me wont you? Help him keep going, help him forget me."

"What do you mean?" Jackie screeched, pushing Jake aside. "What do you mean Rose!"

"Jackie, sit down!" Jake pushed her gently back into her seat. " It doesn't mean anything. Not now."

"What do you mean? Of course it does! She could be leaving me again!"

"She's not." Jake enveloped her small, smooth unblemished hand in his large, rough

calloused one. "They are old words, empty, hollow. That's what she said to me when they first fell through here, just before they left and Mickey decided to stay. She knew then that they would probably never meet again. She wanted me to give him a chance." he looked round at Jackie. "She's not going anywhere Jackie, there's nowhere for her to go, or at least no way for her to get there. Jackie, go get some sleep, she's calmer now, look." and it was true, Rose was no longer thrashing around in her sleep, she was perfectly still, her hand still encompassed by Jakes' larger paw.

"Well...alright." Jackie consented hesitantly. "Promise you wont leave her."

"Jackie." Jake raised his eyebrows, genuinely hurt by her remark. "You ought to know me better than that. I wont desert my post." he forced a smile. "Now go on." he got to his feet, gently removing his hand from round Roses' and shooed her from the room.

"Wake me if there are any..."

"I will. Now go on, go." Jake closed the door gently behind her and resumed his night time vigil. "Hey Rose. It's me, Jake. How are you doing?" It was just pointless chatter to fill the silence, yet it seemed to have an effect on the girl. She visibly relaxed, no longer thrashing violently as she slumbered. He didn't understand why he had the effect on her that he did, nor did he really want to know. He merely held her hand as she slept, talking about everything and nothing at once, all the new alien activity they had recorded during his shift. He hadn't seen Rose for a long while now, he'd been away on Torchwood business, yet as she slept, he could see minute changes in her face. It was no longer full of the joy that he remembered, her skin was pale, almost greying. She looked drained and he knew, without seeing them that her brown eyes would have lost their sparkle, would be dead, hollow, empty. He'd seen it happen before.

The long hours dragged by, yet still he held her hand, stayed by her side. His eye lids were just beginning to feel heavy, when he heard her speak. It was Roses' voice, yet at the same time it wasn't. It was harsher, deeper. "The Oncoming Storm approaches."

Her eyes flew open...

Jack watched the Doctor carefully. He'd dozed off about an hour ago, eventually succumbing to exhaustion right there at his beloved consoles. He'd never seen the Doctor so wired as he had been earlier. He was apparently unable to cope with keeping still for more than a few seconds. He bounced on the balls of his feet, he dashed from console to console making minute adjustments as he saw fit, rocked back and forth, all the while making no move to speak to Jack.

Then he'd just zonked out, one minute bouncing off walls, the next, dead to the world. He was murmuring to himself once more. He couldn't bring himself to wake him as he looked so peaceful, well, more so than whilst he was awake. Instead Jack began to wander the corridors once more. He found himself in the TARDIS medical bay before he knew it. He smiled as he ran his hands over various contraptions and unfamiliar technologies. He felt like a child in a sweet shop, surrounded by all those blinking, winking, brightly coloured machines.

"Welcome back Captain." came a voice in his mind. After several panicked glances about him, he recognised it. It was the TARDIS.

"Well thank you, it's good to be back." Jack, even after all his years as a Time Agent, still felt uncomfortable with telepathy and insisted on giving his responses out loud. Had anyone chosen that particular moment to walk into the medical bay, they would have been confronted with Jack seemingly talking to himself...anyone that had said urge would most likely have been told that Jack was rather tapped in the head anyway so it probably wouldn't change their perceptions of him really.

"How's it going?"

"The Doctor is not himself." it replied, traces of sadness in its' 'voice'. "He misses the Rose child greatly."

"Yeah I kinda realised." he glanced over his shoulder, towards the control room, where said Doctor was currently resting. "How long has he been like this?"

"Many days now. He said final goodbye...about two months ago. There was a period between the closing of the breach and this so...about three months, give or take a few hours."

"Three months!" Jack exclaimed incredulous, whistling. "Jeez Doc'..."

"But he can't continue like this." The TARDIS cut across him, sounding sharper, more businesslike than Jack had ever heard her. "The storm is brewing...soon it will break."

"The storm..." this stirred something inside Jack, but he couldn't quite pin point the source. "What storm? What do you mean?"

"I only repeat the words of another." the TARDIS 'shrugged', or at least that is what Jack pictured she would do if she had a physical form. "A traveller like the Doctor..."

"The Face of Boe!" Jack gasped.

The TARDIS made a noise of ascent." That is true..." a sudden crash cut across her.

"The Doctor!" they both gasped and Jack practically flew though the corridors. He had a feeling that the TARDIS was shifting things so he could get back there quicker. As he skidded to a halt by the consoles he had to fight the urge to vomit as the metallic scent of blood assaulted his nose.

The Doctor was sprawled on the floor, almost under one of the consoles. Blood was slowly pooling beneath him as it trickled from a gash across his forehead. Jack watched transfixed for a couple of seconds as it trickled down between the mesh floor and pooled on the power cells below. He found himself, for the first time ever, afraid of approaching the Doctor, afraid of touching him

"Doc'?" he crouched, supporting himself on the console. "Doc', c'mon, don't do this to me, not now..." he fought down his fear and reached for the nearest limb. An arm. "Doctor..." he shook him vigorously as his vocals had failed to gain a response. "Damn it." Jack threw caution to the winds and pulled the Doctor into a sitting position. After several more experimental pokes and prods, he came to the conclusion that the Doctor really was in SERIOUS trouble, and to be honest, given Jacks' intellect, this was a rather swiftly reached conclusion.

"Bravo Captain Jack." came a sudden voice, dripping with sarcasm. "Now do you think you can act upon this and get him to the medical bay!" The TARDIS.

Jack swallowed the smart alec remark that was building and gathered the Doctor in his arms. Thankfully this regeneration was slimmer than the last, which therefore meant he was somewhat lighter. He was also fractionally shorter, so all in all quite an easy patient to carry down to the medical bay.

He just lay where Jack left him. There was no life, no fight in him now, and Jack didn't know what to do. He could re build the Earth, that was easy. But when it came to helping the Last Time Lord...Jack had no idea. He figured that the lack of sarcastic remarks meant that the TARDIS was more concerned with helping him than goading him, at least for the moment.

He was just about to slope off back to the consoles to keep an eye on things whilst the Doctor was otherwise indisposed, when he heard a voice.

It was the Doctor. He was muttering in his sleep again...only...no, that wasn't right. Jack turned back. The Doctor was still out cold, yet his voice was as strong and clear as it would have been had he been in full possession of his faculties.

"The Bad Wolf approaches...coming before the Dawn of Darkness..."


	5. Grieving

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Doctor Who**

**Four**

"What did she say!" Jackie asked for what seemed like the millionth time that night.

"I've told you," Jake sighed. "Just something about the Oncoming Storm approaching...did she ever mention this before?"

"How the bleedin' hell should I know?" she rounded on him furiously. "She spent the last few years travelling with that no good Doctor. If anyone would know, it would be him." she let out a noise of frustration. "And he's gone!"

"Calm down Jacks." Pete muttered from his place by the window.

"Calm down! You expect me to calm down!" she turned to her husband even more furious now. "My Rose is up there...changed, because of him, and you expect me to calm down!"

"All I'm saying is that you getting upset isn't helping." he was getting worked up now. Jake could see the storm building and decided to leave before it broke.

"I'm going to check on Rose." he practically leapt to his feet and was by the door in two bounds. Not a moment too soon either, he heard Jackie explode just as the door snapped shut. He paused by Rose's door, unsure whether he should enter. Even after all the Doctor had shown him in his brief stay in their world, he was afraid...he caught himself and shook his head. Afraid of what? Rose? That was ridiculous...that was like saying he was afraid of Mickey. Although Mickey had become considerably more intimidating than he had been. Pushing these thoughts aside, he slowly opened the door and slipped in.

The first thing he noticed was the empty bed. Damn it. Jackie was going to murder him...He cast increasingly more panicked glances about him, then he found her and the sight took his breath away.

She was perched on the window ledge, eyes staring out at the moonlit city. Her honey coloured tresses fell loose around her shoulders, shining in the moonlight. Her robe fell from her slender shoulders, revealing creamy white skin. She was so beautiful, almost angelic...then he saw the tears. Silvery trails criss-crossed her cheeks, silent sobs racked her body. It broke Jakes' heart to see this strong, determined, beautiful woman cry.

Without a word he closed the distance between them. He was behind her now, could smell her sweet, floral perfume as it mingled with the air rushing through the open window. She was yet to acknowledge him. He reached for her, his fingers inches from her shoulder when he stopped. She

spoke.

"Doctor?" he could hear the hope and wonder in her voice, and it pained him to have to rob her of her dream.

"No Rose." he placed a hand on her shoulder, turning her to face him. "It's me, Jake..." he stopped, stunned. Instead of looking into her deep chocolate coloured eyes, he found himself looking into a pair of golden orbs. They seemed to glow and flash with some power. Yet as suddenly as it appeared, the light faded, leaving her eyes hollow, almost empty, haunted.

"Jake?" she breathed, her eyes finding his. He nodded slightly, his throat constricted. "Oh God." she gasped, burying her head in his shoulder. Without thinking he wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin in the nape of her neck. He could feel the sobs racking her body as she cried into him. He could feel it tugging at his heart strings.

"Hey, don't cry Rose." he stroked her hair gently, inhaling the scent of her golden locks. "Please don't cry."

"I thought you were him." she muttered into his shirt. "I thought that..."

"Don't worry about it. It's perfectly natural for a dream to linger..."

"It wasn't a dream. He was here Jake. I felt him."

"What do you mean you felt him?" Jake asked, puzzled, sitting by her side on the window ledge.

"Didn't you ever notice?." she returned her gaze to the city. "You could be in a room full of people, just milling around, talking. Yet you would know the exact moment he entered that room. Even if he didn't say a word or make a sound, even if everyone else ignored him. You'd know instantly that it was the Doctor. He just had this feeling, this presence...you remind me of him so much." she suddenly turned to him.

"Why?"

"I dunno, you just do." she shrugged, her eyes never leaving his face. "You've got this presence about you, I don't know what it is...It was you earlier wasn't it? Holding my hand, that was you?"

He nodded smiling slightly. "I couldn't leave you."

"Why?"

"I don't know..." he responded sharply, looking away. "I just couldn't...I guess there was just something, a presence." he shook his head slightly. " It felt like you needed me, like you were reaching out across a void inside..." he was almost whispering now, unsure whether he should continue, unsure that what he was saying was true, He hadn't realised until know the reason for his staying. "...reaching for me because I was the only one that could help. I know how daft that must sound," he added hastily. "but it's true." he stood up, shaking out a cramp in his leg. "You gonna tell me what this dream was about now, or do I have to stay all night? Cos I will you know." he moved over to her bed and perched on the edge, facing her. Close enough for comfort, not close enough to make her feel threatened.

"No, but please don't take this the wrong way. It's just that...you wouldn't believe me if I did." she shook her head slightly. "Plus you'll only tell mum...and Mickey. The only reason you're here is that mum made you come check on me. Isn't it?" her eyes found his once more.

"No." Jake responded feeling a little hurt by this. "I came, because I care...and I hate seeing you like this. Where is the Rose I know? The Rose that saved the Earth so many times?"

"That wasn't me, it was..."

"No Rose, you did just as much. Especially...that day." he hesitated, watching her closely. "If you hadn't pulled that lever, locked it in place...who knows what would have happened...Thank you."

"For what?" Now she was puzzled.

"For saving my life." he paused, embarrassed and awkward. "I better get going. Sun up in an hour, then my shift starts...but you know where I am yeah?...and Rose," he was by her side once more. "I would never judge you or repeat anything you tell me. I'll see you later." he gave her a quick hug, so unlike him.

He normally was so reserved, so distant. If you asked him later why he had done it...he wouldn't have been able to tell you, he would just shrug and say it felt right. His reason for everything these days.

Rose wasn't the only one missing someone...

"C'mon Doc'" Jack muttered for what must have been the fiftieth time in the last five minutes. He was completely alone in the TARDIS now, even the machine itself had stopped trying to make small talk and was directing its energies into more constructive happenings. Like helping the Doctor and maintaining their orbit...and what was he doing? The great Jack Harkness was sitting, holding the hand of some alien. No, Jack corrected himself. Not just some alien. The Doctor was a better man than he'd ever be even though he couldn't be any less of a human. He felt so helpless. He needed Rose. Not for the first time he found himself wishing for the petite blonde that meant so much to them both. Jack couldn't have felt more hopeless if he tried, he was just so helpless...if Rose was here...she'd take his hand in hers, tell him everything would be alright and he in turn would comfort her, hold her close in ways he'd never dare if the Doctor was awake.

Rose. He knew she was the one that haunted the Doctors dreams and waking moments too. He'd managed to build up a picture of what had torn them apart and it was terrible. He wouldn't have wished that on anyone...his thoughts drifted to her. If the Doctor was making such a poor show of coping, what must she be going through? She was after all only human...just another silly ape as the Doctor would have said. Only human...and so young...only nineteen, whereas the Doctor...he was nine hundred years old so more than capable of coping...she was just one of many after all, so he was used to saying goodbye...why was this so different? She was what was different, Jack reminded himself, so different to any of the humans the Doctor had encountered before...almost his equal. Not intellectually, no one could be that. She was his equal in the ways that mattered though. In spirit, her courage, determination...stubbornness. Infact she was his superior in many ways, only they were both afraid to admit it.

He could feel himself nodding off as he sat by his side. His eyelids flickered shut, only to snap open seconds later. He could not allow himself to sleep. What if... there were too many what ifs to bear thinking about. He just had to stay awake...


End file.
